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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “unmatched in his abilities”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “highly unrealistic”, he admits. You feel invincible and you’re like, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are typically followed by a “crash”, during which he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his conduct, making him especially susceptible to negative feedback from others. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and was later confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment without having independently formed that understanding by himself. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – most notably if they experience feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining The Condition

While people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what the term implies the diagnosis. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he believes many people keep it private, as there is so much stigma around the illness. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to bolster one’s self-esteem through behaviors including pursuing power,” the expert explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

While a significant majority of people diagnosed with the condition are men, research suggests this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, just kind of like everything in society,” notes a young adult who discusses her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

It’s hard for me with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she says, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I either go into a defensive state or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this response – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been working to manage it and accept input from her close relationships, as she aims to avoid falling into the negative conduct of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she admits. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she explains she and her partner “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples during development. It’s been a process of understanding continuously what is and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance as a kid,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my family members were criticizing me in my early years.”

Root Causes of NPD

Conditions like NPD tend to be connected with difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the NPD-diagnosed people, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he says. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, similar to his experience, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Following an appointment to his GP, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was told his diagnosis. He has been put forward for talking therapy on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for a year and a half: The estimate was it is probably going to be maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. “It helps me to comprehend my actions, which is beneficial,” he explains. Each individual have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of online advocates and the expansion of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number